Healthy and long-lasting relationships don’t happen by accident. They are built on a solid foundation. I may sound controversial right now, but love is the least important thing in any companionship. And if you don’t know some of the most important things in a relationship, you will always have issues with your partner.
Let me tell you this; most of our parents and grandparents got married without dating. Some even got to know their spouses after the wedding. Yet, they had some of the most beautiful marriages.
However, there’s a paradigm shift in relationship style. You date your spouse for an average of one year. You publicly display affections, possibly engage her in public, and several other romantic niceties.
Yet, our generation has the highest divorce rate. Why? It’s simple, today’s couples don’t want to build a relationship.
Did I say they don’t want to build a relationship? No, I actually mean they don’t know how to build a relationship.
To many of them, being in a relationship is all about sex, buying gifts, and perhaps sending nice text messages.
Oops! How I wish relationships are that simple; there would have been fewer divorces and broken marriages than we see today.
I once heard of a story of two lovers who dated for 7 years. They loved themselves so much and decided to spend eternity together.
These two love birds got engaged, and within a few months, they got married. People who knew about their relationships during their undergraduate days were happy to see them together.
But guess what happened after that? The marriage didn’t last up to 5 months. As I write this article, the couples (who dated for 7 years) are divorced after 5 months of marriage.
Why? Because they neglected the most important things in a relationship.
5 Most Important Things in a Relationship
In my opinion, nothing kills a relationship faster than trust. It’s one of the most important things in a relationship. And once your partner stops trusting, that’s sometimes the beginning of the end of your relationship.
Let me remind you that “trust is an expensive gift, and don’t expect it from cheap people”. But anybody who believes in what they have with you won’t betray your trust.
Again, you don’t build trust overnight. It takes time to grow, but you can destroy it within the twinkle of an eye.
And if you want your relationship to work, you must learn to trust your partner. It would be unfair on your partner if you start judging them based on your past experience.
If you think there’s no trust in your relationship, here’s how to build it;
How to Build Trust in Your Relationship
- Try and be true to your words. And every promise you make to your partner, go extra miles to fulfill them.
- Be clear about your commitment to the relationship from the onset. If you need a fling, let them know. It’s better if you hurt your partner with the truth than comfort them with lies.
- Take little steps to build trust. It may not happen as soon as you expect. But things will gradually fall in place.
- Always factor your commitment to your partner in your decision. And know when to say no.
- Whatever you are doing to make your partner trust you, be consistent about it.
- No matter how horrible the situation seems, always tell the truth. Little lies diminish the trust your partner has for you.
- Never take your partner’s trust for granted.
Communication is obviously one of the most important things in a relationship. According to experts, lack of communication is the leading cause of divorce.
And many marriages and relationships are on the verge of breaking up because of poor communication.
If your relationship has poor communication, there will be escalated conflict; you will have a negative perspective about your partner. You will start avoiding each other, feeling unappreciated and lonely.
Good communication starts from the beginning of a relationship. Before you guys get serious, try to discuss your expectations about the relationships.
The conversation may be uncomfortable, but try to be honest about it. It helps to keep your relationship healthy and build trust.
Interestingly, good communication makes you and your partner be on the same page. It helps you to define your boundary, express your feelings and your intimacy needs.
If you guys can work on your communication, your relationship will certainly be great.
Respect is among the most important things in life. Regardless of how much your partner loves and cares about you, their love for you will gradually diminish if you don’t respect them.
So, if you want your relationship to last long and drama-free, learn to respect your partner. And always call your partner to order whenever they disrespect you.
Trust me; your self-worth is one of your most important assets. Don’t lose it for any reason, not even for love.
No love or relationship is worth giving up your personality and self-respect for. And if your spouse constantly disrespects you, it’s one of the signs that you are in a toxic relationship.
I know that someone in love sometimes behaves foolishly. It’s normal. But that isn’t enough reason for your partner to abuse and disrespect you.
Partners that respect each other stay together. And their relationship is always healthy.
Commitment is one of the most important things in a relationship. Loving your partner is one thing. But showing commitment in the relationship is a different ball game.
Suppose you and your partner are committed to the relationship. In that case, you will be willing to work out difficulties together, plan for the future together, and protect the boundaries you both agreed on.
The essence of commitment in a relationship is to give both partners a sense of control and security.
Read Also: How to Make a Relationship Work
Here are 5 tips to show more commitment in your relationship;
- Show your partner love and loyalty at all times.
- Always express respect and appreciation.
- Always convey honesty and trust to your partner.
- Work as a team with your partner and try to compromise when it’s necessary. But don’t lose your self-worth in the process of pleasing your partner.
People always take being supportive for granted, yet it’s one of the most important things in a relationship. Having a supportive partner who has your back at all times is a rare gift to find.
How would you feel if you have a partner who always sticks up for you when someone says something bad about you? You will feel great, right? Well, that’s the same way your partner feels when you support them.
Try to be the kind of person your partner will always rely on when things are bad. And even though they are in the worst situation, try to be there for them.
These are the 5 most important things in a relationship. Please take note and apply them to your relationship.