Signs That Your Man Is Taking Advantage Of You
Relationships should be balanced. I mean, both parties should appreciate and love each other. If you’re in a relationship and your man doesn’t care about you, then it is time to retrace your steps.
It’s heartbreaking to show your partner so much love, yet he doesn’t bat an eyelash at you. It could be a clear indication that your man is taking advantage of you. So, we will be sharing with you, some signs that your man is taking advantage of you.
I have seen many beautiful ladies wasting their time on a relationship that has no future. My next door neighbor (Paul) is a good case study. The guy is very unserious with his life. He solely depends on his girlfriend (Funmi) for money.
Her mother has a supermarket, and she provides everything for my neighbor. I mean everything. She clothes and feeds him. She sometimes pays his house rent.
But the most annoying thing about Paul is that he is a chronic cheat. I mean, despite the love his girlfriend is showing, he still carries different girls to the house.
When Funmi tries to challenge him, he beats her mercilessly. And sometimes she will vow never to date him again. But after a while, she will forgive him. Boom!
They are back together. You don’t need a soothsayer to know that my neighbor is just taking advantage of his girlfriend. He doesn’t love her all.
There are so many other girls like Funmi out there. They are blinded by love, yet not appreciated by their man. Sometimes, you may not know that your man is taking you for granted.
Don’t worry, in the next few sentences; you will be able to tell if your man truly loves you. Or he’s with you because of sex.
Signs That Your Man Is Taking Advantage Of You
#1. His Parents Or Friends Don’t Know You
If you have been dating your man for over a year, and still don’t know his close relatives, there is a problem. It’s either he doesn’t want commitment, or he’s hiding something.
Come to think of it, why wouldn’t your man introduce you to his friends or family? The answer is simple; the Relationship doesn’t have a future.
He is with you because of the benefits he gets. Don’t be surprised when he wakes up one day and ends the Relationship.
Before it gets to that, retrace your steps and end the Relationship right away. I know you are feeling bad and heartbroken. But a “stitch in time saves nine.”Ending the Relationship will prevent real heartbreak.
#2. He Never Talks About The Future Of The Relationship
Commitment is essential in any relationship. And always try to define your Relationship from the onset. To me, what is the essence of a relationship without a future?
Well, some guys may not want to bring up commitment topic. It could be because they don’t have the financial wherewithal for marriage.
But when you trigger such conversation, they should be willing to tell you their mind. From your discussion, you can know if indeed your man cares about you.
However, when he avoids talking about the future of your Relationship, even when you trigger the conversation, there is a problem.
Ordinarily, a man who gets affection, attention, and also favor from you, should be ready for commitment. Otherwise, consider yourself as another fling on his list.
Ladies often make the mistake of thinking they are in a committed relationship, just because a guy is affectionate and friendly.
Let me tell you, the commitment of a guy has nothing to do with him being friendly and affectionate. He can show you endless affection, yet doesn’t want commitment.
#3. He Doesn’t Make Time For You
No matter how busy your man is, he should be able to create time for you. The fact is, your man isn’t too busy to make time for you. It’s all about priorities.
Come to think of it. Was your man jobless when he was still asking you out? No. He made out time to be with you.
What now change? It’s either someone else is taking his attention, or he doesn’t care about you anymore. If your man truly loves and wants to be with you, he will always make time for you.
Do you know that spending time together nourishes a relationship?
Yeah, it does. But if your man isn’t making an effort to spend time with you, there is no need to be in such a relationship. A relationship is a two-way thing, not the other way round.
#4. You Put More Effort In The Relationship
It takes two to tango. I’m sure you have heard of this statement. Relationships aren’t a one-person show.
It requires commitment from both parties. But if you are the only person putting efforts in your Relationship, it could be a sign that your man is taking advantage of you.
Reciprocity is what makes Relationship interesting. And when you are the only making sacrifices, it is a red alert. Try to re-evaluate the Relationship and know if it worth it.
Many ladies are with men whom they knew are taking advantage of them. But, they refuse to leave such a relationship.
They are victims of the statement “a bird in the hand is worth 10 in the bush”. This statement is a scam when it comes to relationships.
A man who isn’t making any attempt to keep your Relationship alive is as good as useless. He’s not any better than any other man asking you out.
#5. He Blackmails You Emotionally To Get What He Wants
As you read this, someone just got blackmailed emotionally. It’s common in most relationships and among the signs that your man is taking advantage of you.
Emotional blackmail in this context is when your man uses your weakness to his advantage.
He makes you feel obligated and guilty to get what he wants. For instance, an emotional blackmailer can say “If you spend the night at my house, I will be pleased.”
Such a statement makes you feel guilty if you refuse his request. And if your man is fond of using this technique on you, forget it, he doesn’t love you.
Let me tell you a story. My childhood friend, Sharon ( Of blessed memory) was a victim of emotional blackmail. She was in a relationship with this nice charming guy(Frank).
Sharon was a banker who thought Frank was her soulmate. The Relationship seems romantic in the beginning as Frank always treat her like a queen.
But Frank was a fraudster. He never truly loved Sharon. All he wanted was to use her to get a massive amount of money from a client.
After a few months, Frank started asking Sharon for a favor. He told her that he is expecting 40 million nairas from a client.
He Convinced her that if the client pays, he will use part of it for their marriage. But he needed her help to make it happen. Guess what? Frank made this request after proposing to her in a grand style.
Of course, Sharon wanted to spend the rest of her life with Mr. Charming (Frank). And she knew what Frank was asking for is a fraud. But she did it anyway.
After all, Frank promised to relocate her to Canada after their marriage. Sharon compromised, and Frank received the money with her help. Guess what happened? Frank fled the country and never came back.
Sharon tried to call him, but she couldn’t. That was when it dawned on her that Frank had taken advantage of her.
Things went sour at the office and the transaction implicated Sharon. The bank dismissed her after she spent weeks in EFCC custody.
The sad part of the story is that she committed suicide due to frustration. But if she had known that Frank was using her, she would have still been alive today.
Don’t be another victim of emotional blackmail. When your man tries to make you feel guilty for not doing what he wants, try to sever the ties before it’s too late.
Sometimes it’s good to be selfish in a relationship. Don’t allow your man to make you do what will land you in trouble.
#6. He Doesn’t Appreciate You
Every lady needs to be appreciated. Something as little as “Thank you for everything” will make you feel special. But if your man doesn’t appreciate you, your self-esteem may decline.
Do you want to know the truth? Any man who fails to thank you doesn’t deserve you. If you notice this trait in your man, it’s a glaring sign that he is taking advantage of you.
If you don’t do anything about it, you could lose your self-respect. I’m sure you don’t want it to degenerate to that.
#7. You Don’t Have The Guts To Confront him
It doesn’t sound cool if you are always afraid to confront your man. I mean, you should be able to relate with your significant other irrespective of your age difference.
But if he is the bossy type, and wants you to be afraid of him always, this could be an issue. Try to muster the confidence to confront your man whenever he does something wrong.
Learn to stand up to what you believe. Trust me, anything you aren’t able to correct during your courtship, you may not be able to fix it again. Most relationships suffer today because of the lack of confrontation by partners.
And what you fail to understand is this – “the more you shy away from confronting your man, the angrier you become.”
At this point, I want you to take a deep breath for a few seconds…. Now, reflect on all the things your man has been doing, you don’t like. Write them down and approach him about them.
From his response, you will know if he genuinely loves you. If the answer says otherwise, you may need to end things and move on. It’s better to be without a man, than with someone who takes advantage of you.
#8. He Always Wants To Have Sex With You
I know every man loves sex. Even though this is a generalized statement, it is the truth. But when your man is just too particular about getting down with you, then his motives aren’t pure.
Come to think of it. How do you describe a man who wants to have sex with you anytime you visit his house? To me, such a man is only with you because of sex. And there is a possibility of him having other sex partners.
So, if your date with your man starts and ends in the bedroom, there is a real problem. As you read this, I know you probably see yourself in this situation.
But before you conclude, ask yourself one question. Does your man always want people to see you together? If the answer is no, my sister, you don’t have a relationship. You are just a sex mate to him.
#9. He Is Very Secretive
Is your man always hiding things from you? If yes, read this. “Any man that hides things from you has ulterior motives.”
If a man loves and wants to be with you, he has no reason to be secretive. He would want you to know him better.
But if the opposite is your case, try to re-evaluate your Relationship and know if it worths it. If possible, discuss with your partner. And if he isn’t open to correction, it could be one of the signs that your man is taking advantage of you.
Signs That Your man Is Taking Advantage Of You: What To Do About It
Let me be clear about something. Your man may be taking advantage of you unconsciously. In other words, he isn’t doing it on purpose.
For this reason, if you notice any signs that your man is taking advantage of you, try to discuss with him. Below are some of the things you should do when you notice the signs that your man is taking advantage of you.
Know When To Say No
If you don’t want your man to take advantage of you, learn to say No. There’s nothing bad about saying no, especially if you see signs that your man is taking advantage of you.
You have the right to say No in your Relationship. Whenever your man demands for anything you don’t like, learn to say no, otherwise, you may be like Sharon (my childhood friend I told the story earlier).
You aren’t obligated to anybody but yourself. You don’t have to accept everything. If saying No will not make your man take advantage of you, then don’t be apologetic about it.
Anticipate When Your Partner Is Likely To Ask For Favour
Remember that asking for favor always is one of the signs that your man is taking advantage of you. So, try to anticipate when he is likely to ask for a favor and come up with a tactic to avoid it.
Does your man always like asking for sex during the weekend? Does he like borrowing money from you and never pay back? It doesn’t matter how he tries to take advantage of you.
But try to anticipate the situation before it happens. If you do, your man can’t take advantage of you anymore.
Negotiate What You Want
It’s always better to reach a middle ground with your partner than he always calls the shots. And you can always reach a middle ground through negotiation.
Whenever he asks you to do something you don’t like, negotiate, and reach a compromise. Try to make the situation a win-win. This is the only way you can make the commitment of your Relationship equal.
Make Your Demands
Like I mentioned earlier, your man may not even know he is taking advantage of you. For this reason, try to make your demands the same he’s making his own.
If he complains, let him know that is precisely what he’s been doing to you. If he loves you as he claims, he will realize his mistake and apologize for taking advantage of you.
Let Him Know How You Feel
Excellent communication is essential in any relationship. Communication is to Relationship what antidote is to poison victim.
So, if you notice some of the signs that your man is taking advantage of you, there is nothing wrong about letting him know how you feel.
But try to be calm and polite about it. Make your man understands that he makes you feel as if he is taking advantage of your kindness.
No relationship is perfect. But both partners should be willing to make it work. If your man isn’t putting much effort as you do, talk to him about it.
And if he still doesn’t change his behavior, re-evaluate the Relationship, and see if it worths your time.
Is your man taking advantage of you? Drop your response in the comment section below. And don’t forget to share with your friends on social media.
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